Post-it Note from the Campaign Trail by B F Koch
ITITY 2016 Election Commentator
Presidential candidate and conservative carnival barker Mike Huckabee recently tried to cash in on the controversy over homophobic county clerk Kim Davis by hosting an Evangelical tent revival upon her release from the local lockup.
Huckabee’s absurd spectacle was attended by a rapturous crowd of good ol’ discriminate-against-thy-neighbor crackers waving crosses, bibles, and that most beloved symbol of inbred southern insularity, the Confederate flag.
The confrontational collection of locked-and-loaded cretins calling themselves the Oath Keepers have sworn to prevent her from being arrested again if Davis doesn’t feel like following the laws she swore an oath to uphold.
In a clever ploy calculated to appeal to his devoted constituents and ensure his domination of the election news, Huckabee himself offered to take her place behind bars.
It’s unclear what part this fantasy may have played in the celebration that followed; however his staff still refuses to comment on the rumor that a hung-over Huckabee awoke the next day beside a half-eaten bag of rainbow Doritos.