Bill O’Reilly and the Darwin Factor

Contributed by B F Koch
ITITY Media Critic


New York NY

In a yet to be aired broadcast even more stupefying than the one where he presented his incomprehensible explanation of tidal forces, the popular Fox News host employed his trademarked interrupting shout down with his guest from the Yerkes Research Center, a Bonobo chimpanzee named Darwin.

O’Reilly’s ongoing debasement of science continued with this latest intellectually vacant endeavor to discredit biological evolution, a bizarre undertaking that was both a pandering effort to connect with his cognitively challenged audience and a preposterous attempt at cross species communication.

Following his predictably pretentious diatribe the relentlessly belligerent host presumptuously challenged his guest to participate in a Stanford-Binet intelligence test to compare their socialization skills, problem solving abilities, and intellectual curiosity.

Upon learning the diminutive primate had outscored him on every assessment O’Reilly became visibly agitated, then struggled to regain his composure, and finally smirked triumphantly while smugly proclaiming “That proves my point! I couldn’t have evolved from that monkey; he’s smarter than I am!”

Calmly adapting to the situation, Darwin typed out his response with two strokes of his Lexigram keyboard “banana head.”