Conundrum On Capitol Hill

Reported by E C Koch
ITITY Political Correspondent




Washington DC

Due to an interesting recent development, both major political parties have become increasingly frustrated when it was discovered that they were in a state of temporary non-existence.

This development arose after it was found on the official website for both the Republican and Democratic parties that each defined themselves wholly in opposition to the other. Therefore both parties have dissolved, curiously, into a recursive state of non-being, a situation that philosophers commonly refer to as a tautology.

Simply stated the Democrats define themselves as that which is not Republican and the Republicans define themselves as that which is not Democratic, resulting in a logical redundancy whereby neither party can actually be said to exist.

When presented with this quandary, and told that the only way to return into existence would be to stand for something aside from remaining strictly opposed to the competing party, leaders from both sides of the aisle could only vociferously reject the notion. One political leader stated concerning the issue, “What we need now are politicians who will unquestioningly tow the party line. American politics has no room for independent thought.”