Friday, January 12, 2024

Oh No, Not the NRA!

Filed by BF Koch and EC Koch
ITITY Political Prognosticators

It’s a poorly kept secret that in 2016, certain well-heeled Russkies surreptitiously supported the campaign of their favorite useful idiot through contributions to that most flag-waving of American institutions, the National Rifle Association. 

More or less politically irrelevant since declaring bankruptcy in 2021, the NRA nevertheless has something that would be very useful in executing the government-grabs-all-the-guns plan: a database containing the names and addresses of its four million members. 

Once established and supported by his appointed cohorts in the military, a dictator would have little use for the type of cos-play amateurs who tried to help him steal the last election and likely see them more as a threat than an asset. 

Multiple sources have informed us that even now plans aimed at every eager beer-gut minuteman and sorry looking soldier of fortune wannabe are being drawn up to seize your precious weapons and put them safely in the hands of real professionals.