Contributed by E C Koch
ITITY Political Correspondent
The popularization of a new political faction, consisting largely of congressional members and excommunicated Ron Paul staffers, has recently been found to be in violation of the traditional governing edict concerning the separation of church and state.
This group, calling itself The Puritans, espouses, along with fiscal and social conservativism, a literal interpretation of the US constitution, which serves as their sacred text, and is treated as such.
Group leaders argue that the original document should be enough to govern a nation, and that amendments should be interpreted as acononical bastardizations of the founding fathers’ original intentions.
When asked about the contradictory nature of the group’s stance on the typical adherence of the Establishment Clause, group leader Michele Bachmann responded, “After George Washington created the United States in seven days he inspired Thomas Jefferson to write this holy document and it shouldn't be tampered with. I mean, this is fact; it’s literally in our kid’s textbooks! It’s being taught in our schools!”