Jotted by E C Koch
ITITY Pecuniary Analyst
The United States, after protracted deficit negotiations, an unprecedented ratings downgrade, and continued profligate spending, has finally found herself in an insurmountable financial crisis, and is now unable to continue honoring her debts.
Though many critics believed that America sought independence before she was ready, she nevertheless blindly pursued her autonomy, and is now paying for her hubris.
With overwhelming debt and the inexperience necessary to properly balance one’s personal finances, America has been forced to move back in with her parents for, what is now, an indefinite period of time.
When asked how they felt about their daughter’s rather embarrassing public collapse, England responded, “She always was a willful child but it isn't that we’re angry with her exactly, just disappointed. It’s clear though that she still has a lot of growing up to do.”