Wednesday, August 24, 2011

FEC Blots Brawny

Filed by F Russell Grumman
ITITY 2012 Presidential Campaign Correspondent

Washington, D.C.

The Federal Election Commission today issued a letter to Georgia-Pacific, a subsidiary of Koch Industries, warning that it must remove the picture of Texas Governor Rick Perry from all Brawny Paper Towel advertising within sixty days or face legal action.

It has recently come to light that a package addressed to the FEC with a Minnesota postmark and a cover letter signed only "Michele, a Patriotic American" contained a correspondence from Charles and David Koch to then citizen Perry.

In the letter, the ultra-conservative billionaire brothers thank him for serving as the model for the Brawny Man, who has ironically become something of a gay comedic icon, and suggesting he use the royalties to fund a career in public life to promote their activist agenda, advice he apparently has taken to heart.

Initially reluctant to comment, Perry's presidential campaign spokesman finally countered, “If true, it puts the lie to Mitt Romney's allegation that the Governor has no private sector experience.”

The Koch Brother’s stated position that “the FEC is an example of governmental waste and interference in the free electoral process and should be defunded and abolished by Congress” has since received the "sounds like a good idea" nod from House Speaker John Boehner.

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