Filed by S W Rebholz
ITITY Congressional Liaison
In one of the most innovative political creations since the debt ceiling negotiations generated Super Committee, political heavyweights across the United States have formulated one of the more promising medicines to cure the ills of a waning America. Citing the increasingly influential policies of the Green Party and Tea Party, the bi-partisan Super Committee outlined its plans for an entirely new political organization, the aptly named: Birthday Party.
House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi said the premise was simple, unique, and powerful enough to change the landscape of American politics, "Once a year, a nominated representative is granted one wish in front of an elaborate baked confection. When the candles are blown out, the wish is granted by the political gods and Congress can resume its day-to-day operations."
While the bi-partisan Birthday Party is promising, several issues are gridlocking a final vote, namely: the date of the birthday, July 4th or Flag Day, the designer of the specialty cake, Buddy Valastro or Duff Goldman, and of course the Party's first wish, Totalitarian Military Regime or Tax-Generated Welfare State.
Speaker of the House John Boehner said, "If the debt ceiling agreement has taught us anything, it's that differences like this can be overcome and a mutual stalemate is within reach."