In a sort of syzygial alignment of harrowing factors, it was found earlier today that Middle Class, once America’s favorite son, which has been slowly fading from view for several years, has been reported missing. Investigators for the case have already determined that if Middle Class disappears, and there’s no one around to hear it, he does not, in fact, make a sound.
Though for some time now many have speculated on the possibility of this happening, as he has faced the burdens of financial crisis in the face of rising unemployment and cost of living, few considered the likelihood that he would actually vanish outright.
Growing herds of rather nonplussed plebs are already considering the consequences of an ethereal Middle Class, and are beginning to grow restless as their dreams of social mobility have now reached a pronounced nadir.
Police at the scene were asked about the evanescence, one of whom responded, “Middle Class is a troubled kid and by the looks of things he just ran away. Usually in these cases we expect to see them come back after a few days at the most. Me, I’m not too worried about it.”