Monday, July 9, 2012

Romney Camp Settles on New Strategy

Filed by F Russell Grumman
ITITY Senior Political Correspondent

Park City UT

A confidential memo prepared by his staff outlining various strategies cautioned that the candidate could not wage a winning campaign on ideas and issues without either alienating a constituency he had previously pandered to or reminding his supporters that he was once again contradicting himself.

Among the examples noted were promising that as the president he would repeal the same health care program he had enacted as governor, claiming credit for the auto industry bailout he had originally opposed, and attempting to reconcile his ability to create jobs with his record at Bain Capital.

The memo also recognized his aloof empty suit dancing horse dog on the roof ten thousand dollar betting Cayman island tax sheltering country should be run like a business bragging super rich one percenter oblivious to the concerns of commoners cardboard cutout late night monologue fodder image problem.

The only viable option is to constantly remind voters that it doesn’t matter who he is or isn’t, or what he does or doesn’t stand for, or what he might or might not do as president, but what he is most definitely and most consistently not. All people need to know, the memo concluded, is Mitt Romney is not Barack Obama.

Included were mockups of smiling Romney image “I’m not Obama!" lawn signs, samples of simple "Romney...he's not Obama!" bumper stickers, and TV ad storyboards featuring the usual patriotic images and the tagline “I’m Mitt Romney, I approved this message, and I’m not Barack Obama.”

1 comment:

  1. Mitt's campaign reports that scads of family photos through the years, as well as interviews with numerous long-time friends & associates reveal that Mitt's hairstyle has remained consistently unchanged for decades. Any accusation, therefore, that Mitt is in anyway chameleon-like is utterly specious.