Sunday, November 13, 2011

Charity Loses Faith, Still Has Hope

Filed by F Russell Grumman
ITITY Field Reporter

Ockenga, OH

Evangelicals eagerly rooting for the Rapture have been let down yet again. The End of Days, already postponed from June 21 to October 21, is apparently still somewhere in God’s great abeyance file.

Even more disappointed however is the Association of Evangelical Charities 501(c) which, in anticipation of the disappearance of the chosen, organized the collection of their no longer needed worldly goods for a massive multi-location rummage sale intended to benefit those left behind.

Pastor Harold Herald of the organization opined “The passin of dates for the End Times that have a come and a gone durin the last oh, 100 years or so, is a causin some of our members to doubt whether the Last Judgment really is imminent.”

Continuing, Herald added “And repeatedly rampin up for the big sale only to have to stand down when nothin happens is a beginnin to test our patience, not to mention the strain it’s a puttin on our resources.”

Herald then quietly confided “Unlessun the December 21, 2012 prophecy comes true, I’m a gonna have myself some serious reservations regardin future apocalyptic predictions until people actually start disappearin before my very own eyes.”

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