Tuesday, August 16, 2016

Failing Bigly

Dashed Off by BF Koch
ITITY 2016 Campaign Commentator

Refusing to abandon their doomed cause despite poll numbers sinking in a sea of criticism and unable to distinguish his commands from the sound of a malfunctioning bilge pump, his loyal but confused crew stand by helplessly as their self-destructive candidate, Captain Spraytan fires the only remaining flare pistol into his left foot, throws his gold-plated binoculars overboard, not-so-sarcastically cuts all the lifeboats loose, then takes the great ship’s wheel in his tiny little hands, orders full steam ahead, and steers the already listing S.S. Trumptanic straight into another iceberg.

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