Dispatched
by E C Koch
ITITY
Statuary Correspondent
Liberty
Island, NJ
Due
to an unprecedented drop in visitation, national parks across the United States
have initiated a suite of long-neglected restoration projects.
Second
only to the recoloration of the Grand Canyon, the most anticipated project was Lady
Liberty’s long overdue buff and wax.
The restoration
was suspended during its preparation stage, however, after a heretofore
unnoticed expiration date was discovered stamped into the famed landmark’s
base.
Said
project manager, Laz Bartholdi, “We took that poem off the side to get the old
girl ready for her tune up and there it was. You know how they put stickers on
fruit to cover a bruise? Yeah, it’s like that.”
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