Friday, May 6, 2011

Congress Designates New Territory

Washington DC

Congress took time last week from an already full schedule to resolve yet another daunting national concern, which could prove to have future census implications. It was after much debate and careful introspection that the Senate and House of Representatives have passed a mandate to geographically define the boundaries of the Real America on all official maps of the United States.

The problem was originally presented to government leaders during the latest presidential campaign, during which then vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin and current professor emeritus of journalism at Wasilla County Community College, referenced the recondite land area which Congress has now worked to strictly define.

Much of the impetus behind this movement came, in fact, from Real Americans themselves who sought government recognition for their unique patria, as well as the comfort that comes from knowing just where one lives. With the official release of the Real America on the map many borderline Americans have stated that they plan to move to within the boundary line, lest their patriotism be called into question.

Congressional support came in large part from Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) who, when asked about what plans were in place to resolve the spending issues surrounding the most recent deadline for the pending government shutdown, responded “Wait, what?”

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