Related by B F Koch
ITITY Cultural Affairs Critic
Campaign Trail USA
I have recently been informed, and yes I had to be told because I really don’t pay much attention these days to matters so insignificant, that some of you little scamps have said, hinted, or otherwise inferred that I, God want you to run for President of the United States.
Well I hate to break it to you, but do you really believe that if I had even the slightest interest in the outcome of such trivial contests that I would actually sit through all your absurd debates, tedious primaries and ridiculous conventions, when I could simply miracle my fav into the Oval Office?
And while we’re at it, would you please knock off all this inane nonsense about the Second Coming. I’ll let you in on a little secret; I’m not coming back because I never left. Yeah, on the seventh day I rested alright, and I’ve been enjoying my creation ever since on a beautiful beach in Cancun.
By the way, if you’re asking why, since I’m here, I don’t go on one of your cable news networks or celebrity talk shows to spread the good word, the answer is it doesn’t work like that. I do however, have one small suggestion. You could try to advance as a species just a little bit, it’s not like it’s against the rules or anything; none of my commandments say thou shalt not evolve.