Remember the ‘a la Mode

San Antonio TX


Texas Governor Rick Perry, wearing his trademark coyote stilling sidearm and backed by his handpicked legislative posse, announced on the steps of the Lone Star Courthouse and Target Range at high noon yesterday an amendment to the state constitution requiring all Texans to carry loaded firearms.

Even though some of Perry’s supporters considered the measure redundant, like a Texas Board of Education and Ballistic Research member who calmly stated “We’re way ahead of him on that one, pardner”, news of the legislation nevertheless spurred a run on gun sales that left dealer’s racks and display cases throughout the state completely empty.

A customer at the dusty west Texas watering hole, Joe Bob Billy’s Big Bore Saloon and Ammo Outlet complained “Nothin left but scorpions and rattle snakes, there ain’t one itty bitty bullet to buy is this whole gosh dern state!” At the high end Armadillo Café and Pistol Emporium in Dallas, a patron opined “It’s like a big ole tornado came through, what am I gonna git my darlin little wife for our anniversary now?”