Wednesday, March 16, 2011

You’ll Either Feel Better or You Won’t Care

Nutley NJ

A major pharmaceutical multinational is about to begin a relentless advertising campaign of a new drug that purports to relieve the anxiety caused by the repeated exposure to drug commercials.

The new medication, brand name Numbutol, is designed to appeal to the overwhelmed viewer suffering from the novel disorder “Perplexed Consumer Syndrome”, with the marketing slogan “If you’re not sure what to buy to make yourself feel better, buy this pill.”

Possible side effects include the inability to distinguish between fear mongering conjecture passed off as news and mindless nonsense presented as entertainment, the disquieting impression of being fed the same pablum day after day, reduced attention span, amnesia, and not knowing you’re already dead.

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