Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Summit Scheduling Conflict Leads to Unconventional Meeting of Minds

Wicket on Thames UK

Britain’s Royal Empire Hotel and Cricket Club, persistent subject of speculation within the international conspiracy network due to its hosting of clandestine gatherings attended by the world’s most influential and powerful figures, recently found itself in what Hotel Chairman Angsley Snowdon termed “a bit of a quandary” when it was discovered two such conferences, the Despot and Dictator Reunion and the Mogul and Magnate Convention, had been scheduled for the same weekend.

Snowdon went on to express his concerns “We’re rather keen on secrecy here at the club and we like to keep these events private. There was also no small concern that the interests of these two lots might be at odds with one another, what with the autocrats complaining about the duplicity in our foreign policy and the plutocrats going on about their influence on our foreign policy, it seemed like we might have our hands full. In the end we figured the best thing to do was to carry on and hope for the best.”

Somewhat relieved, Snowdon continued “Beginning with the first two seminars, ‘How to Retain Authority for Generations Despite Popular Opposition’ and ‘How to Get People to Stop Hating You and Want to be You’, the whole thing appeared to be going somewhat smoother than expected when members of each group joined the discussion originally intended for the other. By the final symposium ‘How to Profit From Corporate Influences on Interventionist Policies’, it all seemed to sort itself out.”

The obviously pleased Club Secretary Benjamin Nevis commented “By the end of the weekend it was difficult to tell the two mobs apart, although the tyrants due tend to dress a bit more flamboyantly. Some of those chaps really could use a proper tailor.”

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